When You Can’t Touch, Birthday Presents SUCK!
by rry
Summary: KAKAIRU It's Kakashi's birthday and Iruka has to work, so he decides to give it to him in the mission room. It just so happens that it's... written for my good friend zoesaurusrex as a late x-mas/early b-day present. Slight SasuNaru, and ShinoKiba


**When You Can't Touch, Birthday Presents SUCK!**

Kakashi was lounging on his old, ratty green couch in his apartment, head supported by an arm rest and feet propped up on his lover's lap while said lover graded papers on his shins. The jounin was reading a book other than his honored Icha Icha (and, yes, he knew such things existed) and enjoying the sound of Iruka's red pen scratching at the papers filled with chicken-scratch called 'writing.' Of course, when Kakashi pointed out that the pre-genin's handwriting was about as good as a rat's Iruka responded with a raised eyebrow and simply said, "Have _ever_ even _seen_ your handwriting, or do you write with your hitai-ate covering _both_ eyes?" Kakashi began a response, but the tan chuunin raised a hand to stop him saying, "Never mind, you don't have to answer that," then mumbled something along the lines of, "you probably do anyway."

But even through all this peace something disturbed the silver-haired man; his birthday was the next day and Iruka had said _nothing_ about it!

The three-hours-away-from-'twenty-eight-year-old' pouted under his mask. He finally resigned himself to confront his love about this horrid turn of events. Kakashi heaved a sigh and rested his book open-faced on his chest. He wisely waited until Iruka had removed his papers from Kakashi's shins to shift into a sitting position.

(The ever smart jounin had twitched his leg once to get Iruka's attention some months back when they were in a very similar position. This caused his teacher-love to mar a page with a long red slash and the ever smart jounin didn't realize what happened until he felt the murderous aura from his love. Kakashi slowly lowered his book and Iruka shoved the page in his face. Before Kakashi could apologize, Iruka seethed; "I mark papers like this if they _completely_ miss the point of what I've assigned. Now I have to explain to _Hyuuga Hanabi_ why it looks like she missed _fifty_ points when she only missed _five_. Do you know how hard it is to console bawling eight year olds? Or how hard this will be to explain to her _father_ if _he _sees it? I swear to kami, if you _ever_ do that again you will _never_ find out just _how_ flexible I am." Needless to say, the threat stuck and Kakashi was always very careful when moving his legs when Iruka was using them as a table.)

"What is it, Kakashi?" Iruka asked, smiling gently.

Kakashi decided talking was lame for the moment and instead surged forward and pressed a masked kiss into Iruka's cheek. "I love you," he said.

Iruka blushed slightly, "I love you, too."

The jounin smiled; his chuunin always flushed when he got sappy. It was so adorable. Kakashi smirked, "My birthday's tomorrow, did you get me something?"

He watched as the right corner of Iruka's mouth twitched into a smirk. "Maybe," Iruka pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, catching it between his teeth. "But what makes you think you're gonna get it though?" While Kakashi loved Iruka's pure, innocent side, he also adored the man's 'smoldering temptress' part.

"Because I've been a _very_ good boy this year," Kakashi breathed as he leaned into his lover's neck and drew his nose gently along the tan skin up to Iruka's ear, "and you know it."

Iruka chuckled and tipped his head back to allow better access. Kakashi reached up to pull down his mask but just as his finger tip touched the material there was a knock at the door.

One sighed, the other "Damnit!"-ed.

The one who sighed shifted the papers from his lap and made his way to the door. He reached a hand into his weapon pouch and fingered the ring on a kunai. "Who is it?" Iruka called, other hand hovering over the door knob.

"It's Kotetsu, Iruka-san!" the other chuunin called.

Kakashi watched as Iruka pursed his lips together, debating whether or not to open the door. Finally, he came to a decision: "We're not home, go away!" he yelled and began walking back to the couch.

"I know! I know! But Iruka-san, I have a message from the Hokage!" Kotetsu hollered.

Iruka stopped, clenched his fists, eyes narrowing, and resisted the urge to growl. (Kakashi loved that part of his lover, too.) The chuunin walked back to the door and threw it open. "You have five seconds," he ground.

Kakashi tried not to snicker at the look of fear on Kotetsu face. "I—I'm sorry to interrupt," –Iruka's eyes narrowed and the other chuunin sped up– "b-but Tsunade-sama says you have to work mission room tomorrow!"

A silent Iruka was an Iruka to be feared. "What do you mean? I requested tomorrow off."

"Tsunade-sama said you'd say that. Look, Iruka-san, you're a last resort. Izumo was going to fill in for you, but he and I need to leave on a mission and the girl, Mizuhana, who usually has the Saturday shifts, whom you were filling in for, still hasn't returned and you're… the …only… one… still…in…Kono…ha." Kotetsu finished lamely in the face of an Iruka who was smirking down his nose at him.

"Tell Tsunade I'll take the shift, but she has to deal with the dogs because I'm still giving Kakashi his present _all day_ tomorrow and there's nothing she can do about it."

Kotetsu nodded, "I'll tell her," and he left as Kakashi appeared behind Iruka and flicked the door closed.

:~^.^~:

Kakashi was pulled from sleep into a morning stupor by someone shaking his shoulder. "Mmmmhm?" the jounin questioned as he rolled over and cracked and eye open to stare at his love. Iruka was only wearing a towel, his hair still wet from the shower and sending droplets of water rolling down his toned chest.

The chuunin sat at the edge of the bed, "I'm gonna get ready to go to work. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday before I left."

"Hmmm," Kakashi said in thanks.

Iruka smiled, Kakashi was the worst morning person ever. "I want you to turn in those three missions reports," he got up and went to the closet to decide what to wear. "I want them turned in today, otherwise you won't get your present but… just about everyone else will."

"Whumf ic meed preshlent?" For those that don't speak six-thirty A.M. Kakakshi, that was, 'What is my present?'

Iruka giggled and walked back over to his mostly-buried-in-sheets-and-pillows lover. "Can't tell you," he leaned down and pressed a kiss into Kakashi's temple. "That'd ruin the surprise."

"Muuuhblurguh," Kakashi protested, nuzzling deep into his pillow nest.

Iruka laughed again, "Go back to sleep, but don't forget to turn in those reports."

"Yesssuhglurmmm…" Kakashi trailed off, sleep reclaiming its most willing victim.

Laughing again, the tan man stood and began to get ready for the day. His whole plan started a year ago sometime before Kakashi's last birthday when he asked the man what he wanted and the idiot replied, "…How greatly do you oppose wearing a dress?" He saw Iruka's _completely_ shocked face covered in a heavy blush and said, "Or maybe a really short skirt, that's like just wear a long, tight shirt, right?"

At that point in their relationship, Iruka wasn't anywhere near ready to try something as outrageous at that so he pulled some strings, played a scarring prank or two and got him the original manuscript of Icha Icha Paradise, signed and with a note that said, _'Have you ever thought of suggesting Iruka become an interrogator. I'm sure he could get them to bend to his will within seconds. …Please don't send him after me again.'_ Kakashi had stared the note for several long moments, like he had with the white sheet cover that simply said "ICHA ICHA PARADISE", before saying anything.

"H-how did you get this?" The masked man had stuttered. "And what does he mean by 'send you after him'?"

A slow smile had played at Iruka's lips, "I don't think you want to know…"

Kakashi did end up getting the full story from Iruka later and was very impressed.

But now… Now was time for something better.

Iruka smirked.

Step one of "Get Kakashi A Present, Mission No. 2" (because their first year together was all number ones) started with information gathering. Around November Iruka started reading Icha Icha Paradise (and all accompanying series) under the guise of simply wanting to know what was so great about them. They were written better than he had first suspected, but still not as well as he usually read (and he later found that Kakashi sometimes stole the Icha Icha dust jackets and wrapped them around other, better books). He quickly picked up on passages were the pages were more worn and yellowed than others. This did help for several other fun nights where Iruka taught Kakashi that, yes, some people _did_ bend that way, but ended up being unhelpful in the present searching.

Step two enlisted the help of one of Iruka's most trusted friend, Kurenai. They'd go shopping a lot, and not always to Shinoubi-R-Us. Kurenai ended up helping him pick out the outfit he was going to wear for his love. It was surprisingly easy to decide as well, and that shocked Iruka just as much as the fact that Kurenai decided to buy a maid's costume and wear it for Asuma. (At that point in time, their relationship wasn't well known.)

Step three was perhaps the hardest; hiding the costume for Kakashi in their shared house. Iruka ended up having to put it in a trunk of his parents' things and not touch it or to mention it for two and a half months.

But step four was step three's closest rival: No sex. For two weeks. Iruka always got out of it by saying his class ran him down that day or he simply wasn't 'in the mood'. It was difficult because sometimes just the feel of Kakashi's eyes upon him and feeling the lust come off the man in waves made Iruka want to rip of his clothes and spread his legs, screaming to be taken. But, no, he had to keep Kakashi tightly wound so he could nurse Kakashi's wacked out libido back to health.

…Which was why Iruka was wearing a nurse's outfit just long enough to cover his naughty bits.

The shoes were white one and a half inch heel sandals, he wore white fishnet stockings and a garter belt over his right thigh with a Red Cross button sew on it. He was wearing white lace panties and the whole dress unzipped in the front. Over his non-existent chest was the bright Red Cross, only zipped up halfway. Iruka's brown hair was down and it flared out at his shoulders. His necklace was his mother's, a gold chain with a heart locket. (It never held a picture when she owned it so it now held Kakashi's (though he couldn't wear it much, because if Iruka was caught my enemy-nin with it they'd have leverage over the Great Sharingan Kakashi).) He'd bought mascara, black eyeliner, gold eye shadow, and some light pink, shimmery lip gloss that, he found, wasn't sticky if you put lip balm on first, then the gloss. Kurenai, who helped him find all the makeup, decide Iruka blushed easily enough they didn't need the powder for his cheeks. On his head, Iruka had the white little hat with the cross bobby-pinned into his hair.

"…I look like a fucking chick." Iruka commented upon seeing the completed present. "Oh well, time to go to work." He grabbed his hitai-ate and tied it around his waist like Gai (but a lot sexier than Gai) and left for the mission room.

:~^.^~:

Tsunade raised an eyebrow as she stared at the clock on the wall. Iruka was three minutes late and for the usually punctual chuunin, this was very odd.

"It is the brat's birthday though… I guess I can be a little lenient if they wanted to get some morning sex in…" the hokage mumbled to herself, arms crossed over her bosom and thumb running over her chin. She glanced up to see a woman in a sliming black, knee length coat slip into the room. She had brown shoulder length hair and scar across the bridge of her nose. _"That scar…?"_ Tsunade thought as the woman walked to the desk. She watched as the woman talked around the desk and sit to her left, dropping her messenger bag on the floor under the table. Then it hit her.

"_Iruka?_"

The 'woman's' big brown eyes turned to her and a smile spread across 'her' lips. "Remember that message I sent Kotetsu with to give to you?"

Tsunade nodded, "I have to deal with the dogs."

Iruka nodded and stood again, smiling sweetly down at his Hokage. "You see," he undid the first button on his coat, "I planned a sexy day in," the next button, "with my _boyfriend_," the next, "but I have to _work_," the next, "so I decided just to wear my present to work because I put _way_ too much time into making it perfect for Kakashi." Just as Iruka's never ending smile was starting to creep Tsunade out, the man removed his coat with flourish, catching all eyes in the mission room as he glared at his leader and commander.

Tossing the garment to the floor, Iruka took his seat. He smirked as Tsunade nursed a nose bleed, as well as most of the population in the room.

"Now," Iruka said to the room with a sweet smile, "who has a mission report to turn in?"

:~^.^~:

Sakura stomped her foot on the innocent ground. "DAMN IT! Where is that RETARDED sensei of ours!!"

Team seven had been waiting for THREE HOURS already and it was starting to PISS. HER. OFF!!!

"Sakura, calm down, I'm sure he's just 'lost on the road of life' again," Naruto glowered at the innocent clouds.

The pink haired girl was about to yell back at Naruto when Sasuke pointed at an oncoming object. THEIR SENSEI!

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!! YOU'RE LATE!!!" she screeched.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi waved a hand dismissively, his nose buried in a book. "Sorry, I didn't plan on coming today so I slept in later than usual."

Sakura's eyes narrowed, was her sensei telling the truth? She decided he was. She exploded, "YOU WEREN'T COMING TODAY?!?! KAKASHI-SENSEI! That would have made us wait here FOREVER! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!?!"

"Maa, slipped my mind." The now twenty-eight year old closed his book and said, "Spare till noon, then we'll get lunch and get a mission." _"And I'll return the three reports that are… three weeks, twelve days, and … four days late… respectively."_ Kakashi added mentally, squinting at the sky like it would tell him the reason why Tsunade couldn't find another chuunin who had a sexy ass jounin boyfriend whose birthday happened to be today to pick on. The Copy Nin heaved a sigh, the stares must be aligned.

At any rate, Kakashi started the stupid day, his nose in his Icha Icha Paradise and not really bothering with anything else.

:~^.^~:

Kurenai was more than surprised to see a familiar turf of silver hair out of the corner of her eye. So surprised, in fact, that she stopped in the middle of the street and stared wide-eyed at Kakashi's back until the male jounin looked over his shoulder at her. He was seated at Ichiraku's, hunched over a full bowl of ramen with his team 'talking'… which meant 'arguing.' Kurenai's eyebrows locked together and she rushed over to her friend. She swung an arm around Kakashi's shoulders and asked, "Why aren't you at home? I saw the present Iruka picked out for you and it's _defiantly_ something you'd enjoy."

Kurenai's team walked into the establishment and found their sensei. She had just wondered off while they were headed to the mission room.

Kakashi jabbed his chopsticks at the innocent noodles in his bowl, a heavy glare on his face. "He was supposed to cover for this chick named Mizuhana because she's away on a mission, but then today ended up being my birthday, so he got Izumo to cover but Kotetsu and Izumo have to go on a mission, so Tsunade made him work." Kakashi pouted, "Until five."

Hinata was busy blushing and try to stutter out a sentence to Naruto while the oblivious ninja tal—argued with Sasuke. Shino and Kiba, who were leaning against the counter near Sakura, were discussing some jutsu they'd learned and Akamaru was sitting on the counter, letting Sakura pet his head.

"Well," Kurenai started, "My team and I are headed over to the mission room, want me to give him a message or something?"

Kurenai's team had stopped talking: Hinata had given up all forms of speech and Shino and Kiba had come to a great revelation that left them both blushing. Akamaru was now rolling on his back, Sakura's fingers running over his belly. Sasuke and Naruto were still "talking."

"No, it's fine," Kakashi waved a hand dismissively and pulled out Icha Icha Paradise. "I have some mission reports to turn in and they want something to do," the masked man mumbled as he hopped off his stool. He placed some bills on the counter and turned to leave, his team noticing and following obediently.

Kurenai's eyes widened at _her_ team: Hinata's head was buried in her hands as she mumbled about never being able to tell Naruto her feelings; Shino and Kiba had decided to act upon their revelation. Their faces were flushed; hands tangled in each other's hair, with Kiba pressed against the counter, his lips running against Shino's lips and tongues battling for control. Akamaru whined at the disappearance of the person petting him.

"HEY!" She yelled and clapped her hands together, causing the two boys to spring apart, Hinata to raise her head and Akamaru to give a small whine. "We have a report to turn in! Do that on your own time!"

Her team nodded and they ran to catch up with Kakashi's team.

:~^.^~:

Kurenai was holding a half conversation with Kakashi who simply "mhmm"-ed and "yeah"-ed in most replies. She tried to continue the conversation into the mission room but as she did a preliminary scan of the room Kurenai choked on her words.

"He—he's _wearing_ it! Here! Holy Kami!"

The Copy Nin glanced at his friend, "Who?"

"_Iruka!_ I guess he decided to go along with your day-long birthday present."

But Kakashi had stopped listening. His whole being stilled and his Icha Icha fell from his hands. That action alone caught the attention of half the room.

Iruka glanced up from the crappy mission report he was reading when he heard the slow, deliberate footsteps. The chuunin's face split into a grin as his boyfriend neared and he leapt over the table and loosely wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck. The jounin's hands came to rest on Iruka's waist as his eyes raked over his birthday present.

"Happy birthday, Kakashi," Iruka smiled sweetly. "Do you like your gift?" he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kakashi's cheek.

Iruka pulled back just in time to see Kakashi's eye roll back in his head. He nearly didn't catch his love as the man crumpled to the ground. Tsunade jumped up and helped Iruka maneuver the unconscious man onto the table.

"I—Iruka-sensei, what are you wearing?" Naruto stuttered in shock. So in shock, that he allowed Sasuke to lean against him as the young Uchiha tried to make sense of the world while convincing himself it was all one big messed up dream because there was no way his previous sensei was wearing _that_ for his current sensei and Naruto _did not _smelled as delectable as he seemed.

"Uhm," Iruka stalled, "you see…" He blushed, averted his eyes and moved to sit on the table next to Kakashi's hip. Iruka wanted to explain his outfit to Naruto about as much as he wanted to explain anal fisting to the thirteen year old.

Luckily Kurenai stepped in and rescued the chuunin. "Naruto, you remember when you told me about your dreams? The ones you couldn't tell anyone else because they wouldn't understand? Iruka is doing that for Kakashi right now?"

After the second question Naruto seemed to remember what Kurenai was talking about and his tanned cheeks turned dark red. "Oh, okay," he squeaked.

Iruka was about to ask what Naruto couldn't confide in him when Tsunade grabbed his attention.

"Congratulations, Iruka," she said after a quick examination of the jounin. "You've managed to make the second biggest pervert in Konoha faint from a bloody nose." (The first biggest pervert being Jiraiya, of course.)

Iruka mumbled something, with a hot pink flush, when Kakashi suddenly groaned and pressed a hand into his uncovered eye. "Kakashi! Kakashi, are you okay?"

Kakashi peeked under his hand at Iruka. "Oh my God," the man groaned quietly, "I'm not dreaming."

Smirking, Iruka asked, "Do you like your present?"

Pulling himself into a sitting position, Kakashi's eye roamed over Iruka again, starting at the point Iruka's legs disappeared over the edge of the table, near the knees. From there, it roamed up Iruka's tan, muscular, surprisingly hairless thighs covered in the white fish nets. The white garter belt causing a slight indent and making Kakashi want to drag it down Iruka's leg with his teeth. The dress itself pulled taught over his lap and so short that sitting down Kakashi could see the lace of the white panties, unzipped enough he could see the collar bone he loved to bite and nibble on. Iruka's sensuous neck exposed and his hair down, his lashes long and dark, his lips wet and sinful, the short sleeves exposing his arms, and oh, KAMI-SAMA!

Fresh blood dripped from Kakashi's masked chin onto his flak jacket.

The jounin turned to his Hokage and glared, "I hate you so much right now."

Tsunade gave a snort that turned into a laugh.

:~^.^~:

After a quick argument, Tsunade refused to let Iruka go so Kakashi refused to leave because of his sudden jealous streak and resigned himself to leaning against the desk next to his boyfriend's station. He had turned in his late reports and dismissed his team for the day and claimed he had nothing better to do.

Tsunade glanced at him sideways again, "Why don't you go get cleaned up? You still have all that blood under your mask."

Kakashi snorted, arms crossed over his chest and slouch in his shoulders, he glared out the windows of the mission room. "And leave my poor little Iruka-chan to all the pervs in the room, I think not. His line isn't the longest because of his wonderful personality. Ow. I was defending your honor, Iruka, that's no reason to hit me."

Iruka rolled his eyes and flipped his hair behind his shoulder, giving Kakashi a quick glimpse of his neck. The man always has a weakness for necks… and legs… and arms… and hands, and scars that cross the bridge of someone's nose, and people whose name meant 'dolphin,' and… well, just Iruka in general. He stared.

Heaving a sigh, Tsunade glanced at the clock: one-fifty-six P.M. She raised a hand and massaged her temples; she didn't want to deal with just a little over three more hours of this.

"Buddha on a popsicle-stick," she muttered. "Iruka, if you promise _never_ to wear another outfit like that to work again, I'll let you leave early." Tsunade also couldn't deal with all the extra shinoubi in room just looking and not getting missions or turning in reports. Also that _everyone_ was in Iruka's line and that _really_ slowed things up.

"Really?" the chuunin asked and as soon as Tsunade started her nodded Kakashi teleported them away.

Tsunade sighed and again and rolled her eyes, "Have fun," she muttered. She returned her gaze to the room full of disappointed shinoubi.

:~^.^~:

The nurse stumbled as his feet hit the floor of the apartment's entry way, but a pair of strong hands grabbed his hips and foiled gravity's evil plot.

"Thanks," Iruka said, not making any attempts to move away as he unbuckled his white shoes. This action caused Kakashi to groan deep in his throat because having your extremely sexy lover press his ass against your half-hard cock tends to do that to a person. "Get cleaned up and you can pick the room," the chuunin smirked.

Kakashi was suddenly in the bathroom ridding his face of blood.

"Hey, Kakakshi!" Iruka called as he made his way to the couch in the living room, tugging gently at the white stockings. "Is it okay if I take off the fishnets? They're… actually really annoying," he mumbled the last part.

The silver-haired man stepped out of the bathroom, a washcloth pressed to the lower half of his face. His eyes traveled up and down Iruka's covered legs twice before nodding, "Just keep the garter belt."

The chuunin smirked, pulling the garter belt off and holding it in his teeth as he shimmied out of the fishnets, tossing them into a random corner of the room. Iruka had just finished pulling the belt back up when two fingers tilted his chin up. Kakashi had removed his bloodied vest and masked shirt, leaving his scared chest bared and his lips smirking. Iruka's cheeks flushed, for even after seventeen months that he'd been privileged enough to see Kakashi's face, it was still just as breath taking as the first time.

"So this is why we haven't had sex in two weeks?" Kakashi cupped Iruka's cheek and brought their faces close.

After being celibate for two weeks, even the thought of older man touching him made Iruka's cock twitch in excitement. Iruka took a step; wrapping his arms around Kakashi's waist as he breathed, "This whole day went a lot differently in my head." His tongue snaked out and ran over Kakashi's lips, his arms tightening at the same time and slamming their hips together. Both men groaned.

Iruka reached and tugged Kakashi's hitai-ate off. Dropping the metal to the floor, his hand came back and traced the scar over the jounin's closed eye. "Kakashi…"

Their lips slammed together suddenly, tongues rushing to caress. Kakashi's hands dropped and landed on his chuunin's ass, squeezing and pushing their pelvises closer. Iruka broke the kiss in a moan, "Ka-Kakashi!" The usually masked man trailed his lips across Iruka's jaw, nipping, sucking, and licking, and down the younger man's neck.

Iruka panted but his hitai-ate was cutting into his sides and in his haze he couldn't work the knot right, his fingers fumbling and slipping. Another pair of hands started tugging at the knot and the restriction was suddenly gone. The hitai-ate 'thunk'-ed to the floor.

"Thanks," Iruka buried his hands in Kakashi's hair and pulled the man back for a heated kiss.

Abruptly, "Hold on, hold on." Kakashi gently pulled Iruka's hands from his hair and said, "I'm too hungry for sex, wait a couple weeks." And the jounin walked into the kitchen, leaving a gapping, stunned Iruka in the middle of the living room.

"Whu…what?" Anger flared easily as the academy teacher glared at the door. Kakashi wasn't the only one who'd been on a two week dry spell! Pursing his lips, Iruka slipped his hands up the dress, hooking his thumbs into the lacey underwear, he pulled them down. The chuunin's breath caught as the material slid over his sensitive flesh, but he shook it off the best he could.

Iruka walked as calmly into the kitchen as any sex-deprived twenty-six year old could when extremely turned on.

"Hey, Kakashi, hold onto this for a minute for me, will you?" Without giving the jounin time to answer, Iruka tossed the panties at Kakashi's head. They hit their mark as Iruka turned and opened a cabinet. He reached up to the top shelf and grabbed the oil, his skirt hiking up and showing off his ass.

Innocently, but with a hidden smirk, "Want some tempura?" He flipped his hair over his shoulder, a flash of neck on display for seconds.

Iruka whimpered suddenly as Kakashi pushed his chest against his back. A pale, scarred hand sliding up his thigh and cupping balls before moving on to stroke from base to head and back down, teasingly slow. "Ka-Kakashi," Iruka gasped, thrusting into the jounin's hand. His brown hair was brushed away for teeth to run along his neck, a tongue joining to sooth the marks.

"You're such a tease," Kakashi whined as Iruka thrust his hips back into his again.

"I'm offering," Iruka groaned, pushing back again, "y-you're just not taking."

"Hmmm," Kakashi moaned against the tan neck, "maybe you're right." The pale hand that wasn't working on Iruka's cock hurried to undo its owner's belt and pants, shoving them down.

Iruka whimpered as Kakashi removed his hand to grab the bottle of oil. "Please," he begged, thrusting back and meeting hot, dry skin. "Uhn."

Kakashi buried his face in Iruka's neck again as he pushed an oiled finger into his lover.

"Uuuh! Kami-sama!" Pushing back on that finger, "Kakashi, please…"

The birthday boy placed an open mouth kiss on his lover's neck as he added another oiled finger, and soon after a third, thrusting them in and out, curling, and pressing that spot in Iruka that made him writhe and moan for more. Kakashi watched as the chuunin's fists clenched on the counter and Iruka leaned forward to press his flushed face against the cool surface. The white dress was bunched around Iruka's slim waist and the garter belt was still hugging his right thigh.

"Uhhh!" Kakashi withdrew his fingers suddenly and as Iruka whined and panted, poured the oil onto his hand and rubbed it over his heated flesh. "Iruka," he breathed, one hand now covering the chuunin's and the other on his hip. The head of his cock rested against Iruka's entrance, but Kakashi made no move to burry himself in the tight heat that awaited.

"Oh, you're kidding me?" Iruka murmured. He glanced over his shoulder and groaned at the smallest of smirks on his boy friend's lips. Iruka clenched his eyes shut tight and dug his nails into the counter. "I swear to God, Kakashi, if that dick of yours is not buried to hilt in my ass in the next ten seconds, I will go find Genma and Raidou 'cause they—uuuuhhhh!"

"What was that?" Kakashi smirked, the hand on Iruka's hip going to his stomach.

Iruka smirked over his shoulder in reply. "I love you."

Smiling, Kakashi leaned forward and claimed Iruka's lips. "Love you, too."

Kakashi pulled out slowly until all that was left in his love was the head, and the pushed back in just as slowly. He could feel Iruka tremble, his abdominals tightening in the need to stay still and let Kakashi have his way.

"I—I get that," Iruka stuttered and gasped out, "I'm being p-uuuuh-nished, but please, aaah, Kakashi, fffffaster. Mmmmmn."

"If you want it so bad, take it," Kakashi trailed his tongue over the shell of Iruka's ear.

"B-uuuuh-t, I—"

"Take it!" Kakashi ground out.

Iruka threw all his weight onto the blow, his back smacking against Kakashi's chest hard enough to knock them both to the kitchen floor. They hissed in pain as angles that should never happen did. "S-sorry," Iruka gasped as he pulled himself into a sitting position, his legs folded under, calves against Kakashi's torso. The chuunin looked over his shoulder at Kakashi.

After catching his breath, "I'm fine," Kakashi thrust his hips up, reminding Iruka that they were, in fact, having sex. The younger man gasped and rocked forward, his hands fisted into the fabric of Kakashi's pants.

"Kakashi," he moaned, head falling back as he picked a much faster pace than the one Kakashi's had decided on.

The silver-haired birthday boy watched, propped up on his elbows and gasping for breath at every down-thrust, as his present thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Iruka whimpered, "Oh, Kami-sama, please, Ka… Kakashi… uh!" One of his hands left the jounin's knee and Iruka began fisting himself, pants and gasps slipping easily from his lips.

"Shit," Kakashi thrust his hips up to meet his lover's at a frantic pace and Iruka's came down on him equally as strong.

And then, suddenly, everything was white stares and Iruka's muscles clamped around Kakashi's cock and Kakashi couldn't hold on anymore and they both fell apart.

:~^.^~:

Iruka fell back to Earth and landed on his bed. On his right, he saw the big, red digital readout on the clock blearing 12:03 and the little red dot was absent, signifying an A.M. hour. He looked to his left and saw Kakashi, face half buried in pillows, giving him a warm smile. Iruka returned the smile and rolled onto his side, curling into his lover.

"Did you enjoy your present?" he whispered with a smirk, mused brown hair framing his face.

Kakashi's smile broadened, "Yes, it was a rather nice present." His hand moved behind Iruka's head and he pulled him in for a kiss. "I hope to be getting one just as spectacular on my next birthday."

Iruka raised an incredulous eyebrow. "I think I'll just get you socks."

Disappointment shone easily, "Awww."

"Nice, warm, _rainbow_, toe socks."

"….Ew…"

"Hahahaha! Go to sleep, we'll both be sore in the morning."

"Hmmmm."

* * *

YES! YES! I AM DONE! OH MY GOD! THIS TOOK FOREVER!! YOU BETTER DAMNWELL READ ALL OF THIS ZOË!!! I WROTE IT FOR YOU!!!

Not beta'ed and written for my good friend, zoesaurusrex, as a latex-mas/earlyb-day present. …….And mostly because I wanted to see Iruka in a nurse's costume. …

KITCHENS, ZOË, KITCHENS?!?!?! Please, next time assume that, when I am writing a fic, and I ask you to pick a room, it is most likely because THERE WILL BE SEXING IN IT! Though, I didn't really tell you there would be sex in said room, but COME ON!!! IT'S ME! Why else would I go "GODDAMNIT!! Pick a room!!"??

Anyway, hope you like it!


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